I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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