I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize