I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
