oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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