im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
