my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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