yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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