Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
