But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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