so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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