not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
