my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
