So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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