The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
