splinters make it hard to masturbate
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
