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This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
