There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize