White coat. Heels.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
