Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
