If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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