He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He better not be in your backpack
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
