I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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