before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
