i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My penis needs a shock collar
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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