my phone needs a breathalizer
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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