He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
