At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am available for nakedness
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize