your room smells of hookers.
And success
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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