I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize