I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize