We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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