she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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