I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
