i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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