YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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