the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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