3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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