if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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