Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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