I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
