I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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