I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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