No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
