My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
