last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
