Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
then he tried to convert me to islam
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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