It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
