she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
