He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
