Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
