Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
