You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
