I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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