help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
