WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
