direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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