What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
