I just threw up on my dentist
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
