talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
