I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
