There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
