what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
