I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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