Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
