You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
